The Real Gay Marriage Issue

Did you hear that the Supreme Court is hearing a case regarding gay marriage? Well, of course you did, unless you've enjoyed the luxury of a secluded island for the past month. The arguments, confrontations, protests, sermons, passive aggressive Facebook posts, condescending lectures, and bumper stickers have been non-stop loud and proud - from both sides of the debate.

I've generally avoided becoming involved publicly, but I guess today that changes. Here I am writing about it.

 

I have very dear friends who have strong opinions about making gay marriages legal and other very dear friends who say they staunchly oppose any marriage other than one man to one woman for life. Those who are against it have polished their arguments, found scriptures to support their view, and are poised to convince the world that they are right. Those who are for it, have polished their arguments, found scriptures to support their view, and are poised to convince the world they are right. Here's the overwhelming problem I see with this whole debate: everyone is focused on the issue of gay marriage. Meanwhile, the people involved (on both sides) are hostile toward each other, killing each other with their words, and are starving their own spirits. Where is the life in this argument?

 

This is Passion Week for Christians. The week that remembers the week prior to Jesus' resurrection. I cannot believe that Jesus endured what he did over an issue - any issue. He endured beatings, mockings, betrayal, agony, and even death for PEOPLE, not for issues. I personally couldn't care less if my gay friends marry. I have a single daughter that I would love to see in a loving marriage, but more than her finding a husband I want her to experience a fulfilling life in Christ. Marriage - gay or straight - is not what Jesus is about, it's not what His church is about, it's not what my life is about. This Easter weekend reminds us of what Jesus and his church IS about - connecting people to God and His plan for them.

 

I hear some of my church friends saying, "But you're compromising the word of God." Jesus said this, "You study the Scriptures diligently because you think that in them you have eternal life. These are the very Scriptures that testify about me, yet you refuse to come to me to have life." (John 5:36,37) Don't waste your time searching for a biblical prop for your argument. You can surely find it, but so can those you oppose. Instead, search the scripture to find the life Jesus offers, then, get your nose out of the book and get involved with people around you. Get to know someone that has an opinion that is different from yours. Start a civil conversation. Jesus doesn't live in issues, he lives in us. That's the kind of Jesus people will want to know.

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Blessed Are Those That Mourn

"You should be happy that your loved one is in a better place. It's time for you to move on with your life. It's what your loved one would have wanted you to do."

When we're experiencing grief, our well-meaning friends come along with their words of "comfort" and, well, in some cases, make us want to slap them! What do you do when all the precious-memories, whispering-hope's, and meet-you-in-the-morning's leave you as empty as the vacant chair at your table?

Well, to start, you can stop believing lies about the pain you feel, and start living with the truth.

Here are some things we've learned about grief:

• It's a normal part of life. Those who haven't experienced it yet, will. Jesus did. Read John 11:35. People in the early church did. Read Acts 8:2.
• We should be sensitive to others who are experiencing grief. Romans 12:15, "Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn."
• Grief is not a sign of weakness. In the Bible, King David and his great soldiers returned home after a battle to find that their city had been destroyed and their families had been taken as prisoners of war. Here's how the Bible describes the reaction of these mighty men, "So David and his men wept aloud until they had no strength left to weep." I Samuel 30:3,4
• There is no timetable for grieving or for moving through so-called "stages of grief." There may be many painful days, or the pain may be short-lived. Don't place unrealistic expectations on yourself.
• Grief is a season of  life. Trees change with the seasons from the new buds of springtime to the mature shade of summer and from the beauty of fall to the barrenness of winter. In the same way, we experience the excitement at the birth of a relationship, the closeness as that relationship develops, the beauty of aging together, and this is followed by the heartbreak of loneliness when the relationship is broken by death - or for other reasons.
• The good news is that the season of death is always followed by rebirth - it is true in trees and it is true for us. The hope of eternal life can give us focus beyond the pain of death. "My friends, we want you to understand how it will be for those followers who have already died. Then you won’t grieve over them and be like people who don’t have any hope. We believe that Jesus died and was raised to life. We also believe that when God brings Jesus back again, he will bring with him all who had faith in Jesus before they died." I Thessalonias 4:13,14

Keep in mind that you are not alone. Remember that David and his men were exhausted, wrung dry, and left in a vulnerable position. Still, the story continues with this statement, "But David found strength in the Lord his God." This is the former shepherd boy who had once written, "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for you are with me." Now, he was living out what he believed deep in his heart: I'm not alone.

Go ahead, experience the pain, cry until you're dry, let out the tears and the moans, the questions and the anger. Live in the memories, and talk about your loss. No one knows exactly how you feel, but that doesn't mean they don't care. Allow others to share your burden as you share theirs. If you ever find grief overwhelming, or your comforters are making matters worse, keep in mind that Jesus gave us this promise in Matthew 5:4, "Blessed are they that mourn, for they shall be comforted."

Notes from Ask Me Anything About Grief by Tony Moore.
Video available.

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I'm Going to Die

Death is not a pleasant subject, but it’s one I have encountered a lot this week.  I am preparing for the graveside memorial service of a friend - the fourth memorial service I’ve attended this week. 

Let me share some observations I’ve made this week:

·         All funeral homes and mausoleums stink. You can dress them up with flowers or spray them down with insecticide, but they still stink.

·         In the Bible belt, church folk pull out their Sunday clothes and Sunday masks for funerals.  They’re often in shock when a real person speaks of real pain and has real questions.

·         Knowing your dead friend is “in a better place” doesn’t take the pain away.

·         There are people all around us with holes in their hearts and we don’t even know it.  I want to know it.

·         Don’t invite an angry preacher to speak at my funeral.

·         Don’t invite anyone who doesn’t know me or my family to speak at my funeral.

·         Don’t play a cd of your favorite song at my funeral.  I will come out of my casket and scare you if you choose any song about Grandma, or flowers, or a train, or a river.  If there’s going to be singing, I want to hear everybody sing something about how great God is and how much He has loved and changed me.  Great is Thy Faithfulness would be a good choice if you leave out the middle, fluffy verse.  Be sure to sing loud the parts about “Thy compassions, they fail not” and “strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow.”

·         My belief in what Jesus taught about the afterlife is stronger than ever.

·         I am going to die.  I don't know when, I don't know how, I don't know where.  When I die none of what I’ve listed above will matter to me except the last one.

What about you?  Any thoughts on death recently?

THERE'S LIFE IN THE VISION

I Corinthians 9:1,2 There is no need for me to write to you about this service to the saints. For I know your eagerness to help...

At this point, I have only shared my vision for Transformation House with my immediate family and a very few close friends. They are all praying with me to discern God's direction as we launch this ministry. I love it when you know that you know that God is leading you.

I talked with a relative today who said, "We haven't always listened to God, but we're listening now." What made the difference? VISION! There are people who will hear about this vision and a long-dead dream will resurrect in their spirit. Some will have heard from God long ago as He called them to service, but some setback caused their passion to die. That passion will re-ignite as they realize that what God set in motion never stopped, they just lost momentum.

I can see that spark in their eyes and hear it in the conversations as we discuss what is just ahead of us - as if we know. Somehow, I believe it is far greater than our own plans or dreams.

Proverbs 29:18 says "Where there is no vision, the people perish." Another version is, "Where there is no revelation, the people cast off restraint." The Message says, "If people can't see what God is doing, they stumble all over themselves." They are all true.

If you have no goal in life, nothing to work toward, all your joy will die. You will throw away everything good. You will float through life with no direction. However, when you hear Him speak clearly, every decision you make will be based on the question, "Does it take me closer to fulfilling this vision?"

Catch the vision, seek God, listen and move when He speaks.